THE COST OF UNRESOLVE MARITAL CONFLICT: LESSONS FROM OMIJE OJUMI BURIAL INCIDENT
Here are marriage lessons drawn carefully and respectfully from the “Omije Oju mi’s” burial fracas involving her estranged husband without sensationalizing or judging individuals. May the Lord rest her soul.
The goal is wisdom, not gossip.
1. Unresolved marital conflict does not die with separation.
Separation or estrangement does not automatically end marital responsibilities. Unhealed wounds often resurface, sometimes painfully during critical moments like sickness, death, or burial.
“Agree with thine adversary quickly…” Matthew 5:25
Lesson: Couples should pursue closure, reconciliation, or clear boundaries while both parties are alive.
2. Marriage is not only emotional; it is legal, cultural, and spiritual
Even when love fades, marriage often remains binding in the eyes of the law, family, and culture.
Burial rites especially expose these realities.
Lesson: Couples must understand that marriage extends beyond feelings. Decisions should not be made emotionally alone but with long-term implications in view.
3. Family involvement must be managed wisely
When couples fall apart, families often step in sometimes to help, sometimes to complicate matters.
“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother…” Genesis 2:24
Lesson: Healthy boundaries with extended family are essential. What is unmanaged in life may explode in death.
4. Respect should outlive romance
Love may end, but dignity should remain. Public conflict at moments of grief dishonors the deceased and deepens pain for children and loved ones.
Lesson: Even estranged couples must commit to mutual respect, especially in sensitive moments.
5. Children pay the highest price for marital wars
When parents fight, especially publicly, the emotional scars on children are deep and lasting.
“Better is a dry morsel, and quietness therewith…” Proverbs 17:1
Lesson: Every marital decision should ask: How will this affect the children?
6. Clear documentation prevents future chaos
Unclear wills, burial wishes, and marital status create confusion and conflict.
Lesson: Couples, especially those estranged, should document their intentions clearly and legally.
7. Marriage requires continuous work, not assumptions
Many marital crises begin with silence, neglect, pride, or unresolved bitterness.
“Let not the sun go down upon your wrath.” Ephesians 4:26
Lesson: Conflict avoided is conflict postponed. Regular communication and counseling are not optional,they are survival tools.
8. Endings matter as much as beginnings
How a marriage ends can affect legacies, families, and public memory.
Lesson: If reconciliation is impossible, separation should be handled with wisdom, humility, and maturity.
My take home summary
The Omije Oju mi’s incident is a sobering reminder that marriage is a covenant with long shadows. What is ignored in private may erupt in public. Wisdom says: fix it early, manage it wisely, or end it honorably.
(C) Sola & Nike Ajayi
Realm Academy For Family Life Ca.
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